Monday, April 12, 2010

A neverending battle......

My mom 9 out of 10 ten times treats me like her worst enemy. Menopause has not treated me well and I'm not the one going through it.

It's frustrating and hurtful and I am soooo tired of dealing with it.

She makes me feel like a 26 year old loser, even though I know that I'm not. Nice, isn't it?

She battles with me worse than she did when I was a teenager.

My 24 year old sister treats me basically the same way that my mom does. We basically have a non-existent relationship.

My dad, my boyfriend, my best friends are the only ones I can count on.

I want to hope I will wake up one day and it will all change. But I have been waiting this long and it has only gotten worse. I don't want to be one of the people that doesn't have a good relationship with their family. But it's steadily heading into that direction.

Talking about it with my mother = POINTLESS. She only nags at me on a daily basis to tell me that I have to fix my relationship with my sister but in reality my mom played a big role in putting the strain on the relationship in the first place. To the point where the two of them are best friends and I am just standing here in the shadows. I've gotten so used to being in the shadows for sooooo long that I almost don't even care.

Maybe one day I will care. But as each day passes, I just start to care less and LESS.

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