I'm a little bit country, she's a little bit........insane.

I'm slightly obsessed with Oxygen's true crime TV show Snapped. I can sit and watch a marathon of episodes for hours and hours. The boyfriend is completely creeped out by the show and refuses to watch it with me. He literally BEGS me to change the channel. He says watching a show about how crazy women kill their husbands and boyfriends freaks him out! While the show is obviously creepy and demented, I find it very interesting to see how time and time again women think that they can get away with the "ultimate" murder like they have no chance of getting caught.

Plus, if I should ever feel the need to kill off my boyfriend I can definitely say I know exactly what NOT to do.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Love you, Macaroo!

I also find it funny that this network has so much programming devoted to all the crazy biotches of the world. Then again, I do contribute to the number of viewers watching.

And for the love of GOD, I am sooooooooooo tired of these stupid Flirty Girl Fitness commercials. It disturbs me.

I have just discovered "United States of Tara". Thanks, Netflix!

Never enough time for sleep. Ever.

The Price of Beauty.

I happened to catch a repeat showing of the first episode of Jessica Simpson's new reality show, The Price of Beauty on VH1 Sunday night. And I have to say that I really enjoyed it. It was very interesting to see someone that we see so often scrutinized in the media spotlight because of her celebrity status, exploring a topic like this. We live in a society where our popular culture is so focused and obsessed on external beauty and how it is the only way to truly achieve happiness in our daily lives. In my teen years, I was really obsessed and focused on the latest fashion and makeup trends and really found myself wanting to be like what I saw in magazines and on TV. Pop culture was embedding in my brain that it was completely normal to want to be like someone else.

It's very interesting to see how in just the first episode of the show how the women of different cultures are obsessed with beauty just as much and maybe even more so than American women are. Beauty traditions have been practiced for years and years and are standard to their ways of life. Simpson travels to Thailand and goes shopping at the local market to see what types of beauty products women use. There is an obsession in that culture to wear makeup and use cosmetic products that help to lighten skin or to give the appearance of it being lighter. That is the complete opposite of American culture and our obsession with being tan!

They speak to a woman who used to be a singer and was very obsessed with lightening her dark skin and was willing to use any product she could get her hands on. The product discolored her skin in several places and she explained how she lost her singing career and her husband left her because she was no longer considered beautiful to him. Her story brought tears to my eyes and I couldn't help but cry at the thought of wanting so badly to be what someone else tells you is beautiful. It really made me reflect on what we as a society collectively believe to be beautiful.

It really made me reflect on my own obsession with the little things that I don't like about myself. Ultimately, I think that it is almost impossible to change the way women feel about their own body image when there is no way to escape what we see in both everyday life as well as in the media. I have fallen victim time and time again to this myself but I think that as I have gotten older I began to not care as much and let it impact my life anymore. There comes a point in life, where you have your "pretty days" and your "ugly days" and I believe there really is no way to get away from that. But I feel like if you really, really, really try to focus more on being happy with what you have that life really is so much more enjoyable! Easier said than done, I know! Trust me....I know. But realistically, I am trying to think of all the wasted tears I have personally spent on crying over the fact that I put on a few pounds or the fact that my hair got rained on and is now a big frizzy poofball because I forgot to bring an umbrella with me on a potential rainy day.

POINTLESS! I never make resolutions but this year I have really shifted the focus more on not necessarily making myself a better person by focusing on my appearance but making myself a HEALTHY person. I started working out again not just purely for making my physical appearance better but for my general health and fitness. I want to be more active so that when I go hiking or camping I am not completely exhausted from 30 minutes of physical activity like I was last summer! I decided to make a lifestyle change instead of a superficial body image change and it has made all the difference.

I think you should check out Simpson's new show if you haven't. It airs Monday nights @ 9 p.m. central/10 p.m.eastern and replays again throughout the week on VH1.

Ugh. Really not enough words to describe how I feel right now. Mad. Sad. Hurt. To name a few.

9 pounds down!!!!! I thought I hit a plateau but I think I gained as much muscle as I was losing in pounds which wasn't reflecting on the scale. I feel good and I'm starting to notice my muscles firming up! Yay!

Spring fever.

It's getting close. I can feel it! I'm ready to be outdoors and go hiking and camping! Winter tends to make me really down and depressed pretty much every SINGLE year. And I feel really bad because Mac has to put up with it! Poor guy! I become this social recluse and I basically refuse to answer my phone when people call [or call anyone for that matter] or have the want to go out and do things. I just get into this ridiculous funk that takes me a month or two to get out of. Every year, I tell myself that I am not going to let it happen and yet it always does. I'm not very good at keeping promises to myself. Hence, why I never make promises to myself or New Year's Resolutions in the first place because there is no point!

But in light of my funk, I have been coming out of it slowly but surely. Working out has really drastically improved my mood. I physically feel a lot better now that I have gotten back into the routine. I suffer from insomnia from time to time and working out really makes a difference on my sleeping habits. I actually stay asleep almost the entire night instead of waking up multiple times in the middle of the night! I have these horrific periods of insomnia every few months or so and it really takes a tole on me because then it makes it hard for me to get motivated to want to do ANYTHING!

I am excited for the next few months. I am a bridesmaid in my friend Mandie's wedding on April 9th and I am also taking that whole week off to help and celebrate the festivities. I am pretty excited about that....I'm sure Mac will be, too. He is the only boyfriend I have ever had [or guy that I know] that actually doesn't mind going to weddings. He hates when I tell people this but he loves to dress up for them. For my bff's wedding in '08, he was so excited he had to go buy a new outfit for the occasion! Mac actually cares about his appearance which is a good thing but sometimes he makes me feel under dressed when we have a dinner and a movie date night! Ha, ha. But that's ok, I love him anyway. :)

And May 1st, Mac and I signed up to do our first 5k, I Run For The Party in Nashville with Candace and a few other people that I know that signed up. I don't plan on running but maybe by then I will actually be able to jog or possibly run some of it? By then I will be almost done with P90X so I should be able to do handle it physically. Can't wait!

It's getting better all the time.

I feel myself getting stronger slowly but surely as I progress through the P90X program. However, last week I had a minor setback due to a stomach virus I had on Thursday. It made me pretty much physically drained for the rest of the week and I couldn't bring myself to do a single workout. So I only completed 3 of the 6 workouts. Better than nothing I suppose. I plan on doing an extra week to make up for it. So this week is a redo of week 3.

I have lost a total of 7 pounds so far and I almost wish I would have measured myself so I could see inches as well. But I think that taking pictures every couple of weeks is going to mean a whole lot more to me than the number I see on the scale. It's not the number on the scale I am necessarily worried about. I just want to be able to look in the mirror and not be depressed that I'm 26 and not in as shape as I really want to be. I want to be able to go hiking in the summer and not be completely exhausted after 20 minutes of walking. I want to build up my physical tolerance overall!

I started out getting back in shape slowly and I really think that has made all of the difference. I started taking yoga with Candace one day a week  back in December at the rec center and then I progressed myself up to two classes a week.  I also had started doing a couple of P90X workouts a week as well to try to get over some of the initial (and PAINFUL) extreme soreness that comes along with the program. And then two weeks ago I started the program completely. I have a hard time being able to work out first thing in the morning usually so I end up doing all of my workouts after work and at night. But so far it is going just fine. I actually WISH I could start working out before I get my day started. Maybe as I progress into the program I will be able to do that.